Stargate / Battlestar - Video: Conan O'Brien: Comparison to US Dependence on Oil

Courtesy of HULU, from the May 22nd episode of The Late Night Show with Conan O'Brien, a brief clip of a skit between Conan O'Brien and Pierre Bernard (a graphic artist on the show), comparing the struggles in Stargate SG-1 and Battlestar Galactica vs the US dependence on oil.

'Nerding It Up For Pierre'





As this video clip might only be available to US viewers, I've typed up a quick transcript (this is not verbatim):

Conan: "You know, as I said over there in the monologue area, the 'laugh zone' I call it, the rising cost of gas that's what everyone is talking about. These days it's dominating the news, it keeps going up and up and up. President Bush - here's the latest - President Bush just visited Saudi Arabia and he asked them to increase their oil output. And they turned him down cold, they said no. And as I already mentioned tonight, oil hit $135 a barrel.

Now everyone in America is following this story, except for one guy. There's one guy who doesn't care. I'm talking about one of our show's graphic designers, Pierre Bernard. And Pierre just doesn't care. He's just not interested in this topic. And everyone else is interested in it, so I thought, we should talk to Pierre about his lack of interest in this important issue. Let's bring him out right now, Pierre Bernard everybody."

Pierre walks out, waves to an applauding audience.

Conan: "Hi, Pierre. Now, Pierre, is it true - you just don't really care about our country's dependence on Saudi oil?"

Pierre: "I couldn't care less, Conan."

Conan: "Okay. All right. But what you are interested in is scifi television and Japanese anime films, is that right?"

Pierre: "Yes, it's my life."

Conan: "Okay, well then here's what I thought. Maybe, I can make you more interested in the oil prices talking about in in terms that you can understand, Pierre, in a little segment I'm going to call, 'Nerding It Up For Pierre,' what do you think?

(audience applauds)

All right now, Pierre, let's just say that President Bush was like Admiral Adama on Battlestar Galactica, and Saudi Arabian oil was like, I don't know, enriched tylium being guarded by preprogrammed cylon centurions."

Pierre: (very deadpan) "You mean the Saudi's can't even be reasoned with?"

Conan: (grins) Yeah. That was well done. Yes, you see some in the Middle East think we're were like the villainous Goa'uld from Stargate SG-1, a race of ruthless snake-like parasites ruled by the evil System Lord Apophis." (except Conan mispronounces the name as Adophis)

Pierre: "Okay, now I understand."

Conan: "Yeah. - chuckles - This is beter than rehearsal trust me (audience laughs) - And you also understand that OPEC wants to be respected, like the anime hero Naruto, a hyperactive adolescent ninja and a containment vessel from the nine-tailed demon fox?"

Pierre: "I sure do. Wow! I had no idea that Saudi oil production could be so incredibly fascinating."

(audience cheers and laughs)

C: "So Pierre, maybe you'll pay closer to attention next time when you fill up your gas tank?"

Pierre: "Actually, Conan, I won't be driving the car for a while. My drivers license was stolen by an unscrupulous prostitute. (Turns to wave to audience) So long everybody!"

Conan: "Thank you, Pierre. (audience applauds) I swear, he wasn't reading off of cue cards."