Friday, June 13, 2008

Stargate SG-1 / Star Wars / Pokemon - Video: Late Night with Conan O'Brien

Courtesy of HULU, a brief clip from the June 12 '08 episode of Late Night with Conan O'Brien, a skit between Conan O'Brien and the show's graphic designer, Pierre Bernard, on a topic...of the current tomato salmonella scare in the United States, compared to events in Stargate SG-1, Star Wars and Pokemon.

Nerding It Up For Pierre

EDIT: 6/13/08 @ 5:38 -- A transcription of the skit:

Conan: "I wanted to mention one of the big stories this week, everybody talking about the salmonella outbreak affecting certain type of tomatoes. It's been a big scare, a bunch of tomatoes affected by the salmonella outbreak. McDonald's, and other restaurants nationwide, have completely pulled tomatoes from their menu.

Well, everyone here on the show is very concerned about this. We often order food from local restaurants. We don't know which tomatoes are okay, which ones aren't. But there's one guy on our staff that doesn't care at all about this issue, I'm talking about one of our graphic designers, Pierre Bernard."

(Still photo of Pierre shown on TV. Audience claps and laughs.)

Conan: There he is. He just doesn't care. I thought we should bring Pierre out here, and find out about his lack of interest in this issue. So, here he is everybody, Pierre Bernard."

(Pierre enters the studio, audience cheers and claps.)

Conan: "Now, Pierre, is it true that you just don't care about the salmonella outbreak affecting the tomatoes?"

Pierre: "I couldn't care less, Conan."

Conan: "Okay. But you ARE very interested in scifi television shows and Japanese anime, is that correct?"

Pierre: "It's my life."

Conan: "Okay. Well, I had an idea. Maybe, I can make you interested in the tomato salmonella outbreak, by talking about it in terms you'd understand, in a little segment I'd like to call, "Nerding It Up For Pierre."

(Audience cheers)

Conan: "All right, Pierre. In order for you to understand which tomatoes to avoid, let's say that beefsteak and plum tomatoes are infected with evil, like Darth Vader in Star Wars episode 4, "A New Hope." But cherry tomatoes are like still young Anakin Skywalker in "Attack of the Clones," still unspoiled and unpoisoned by the Dark Side."

Pierre: "You mean like a Jedi Knight, cherry tomatoes have a high metachlorian count?"

(Audience laughs)

Conan: "Exactly. Yes. And this salmonella outbreak is like the sinister Ori plague launched by the Priors in season nine of Stargate SG-1."

Pierre: "The same plague that Orlin fought using his Ancient memory in 'The Fourth Horseman' episode?" (Very deadpan)

(Audience laughs)

Conan: (laughing) "Yes, Pierre. (laughing) So convincing. (Camera switches to Pierre, who is trying to keep from breaking up laughing.) The very one, as if you just read it! Ah...And the FDA is using its powers to defeat the tomatoes in the same way that a Pinkachu on Pokemon would use its electric tail shock to gather berries for monster trainer Ash."

Pierre: "Wow. I had no idea that a salmonella outbreak affecting only specific types of tomatoes could be so incredibly fascinating." (Very droll. Audience laughs)

Conan: "Well now, maybe you'll pay closer attention next time you're at your neighborhood McDonald's."

Pierre: "Actually Conan, I'm not allowed within 50 yards of my neighborhood McDonald's. The girls who work the shake machine took out a restraining order against me. So long everybody." (Waves goodbye to the audience, audience cheers and applauds.)

Conan: (laughing) "Could we send him to an improv class? (laughing) I'll pay for it!"

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